Is it okay to hide a camera to remotely monitor your elderly parents while they're in the hospital?
One of the hardest parts about having a parent in the hospital is not being there all the time and not knowing what’s happening when you’re gone.
When you’re there, you can check in and ask all the right questions. But at the end of the day, you are faced with a pit in your stomach, a quiet drive home and the dread of the phone ringing. You simply cannot be there 24/7, and it’s unsettling to wonder what is happening when you are not in the room.
So, when someone tells you about a “granny cam” (a small Wi-Fi-enabled camera you can monitor remotely), it seems like the answer you have been searching for.
I have been on both sides of this situation. I have been the family member who has wanted to advocate for a loved one. I have also spent more than a decade as an ICU nurse caring for countless patients.
Let’s talk honestly about granny cams in hospitals, why you might consider them and why they may not be as helpful as they seem.
Negative Aspects of Nanny Cams in Hospitals
There are privacy issues to consider.
Privacy issues are bigger than most people think.
If your parent is in a shared room, you are not just recording them. You are recording other patients, including their conversations and medical details.
Put yourself in the other patients’ shoes. Imagine your private health struggles were being recorded without your consent. You would feel violated.
Even in a private room, nurses, physicians, staff, students, visitors and clergy may be around. They also have an expectation of privacy. Many hospitals have strict media policies for this very reason.
Finally, recording someone without their consent is not just ill-advised. It’s illegal to record a conversation without the consent of one of the parties. Not just “frowned upon”, but “illegal under the Criminal Code of Canada”.
So that conversation between a nurse and doctor at the foot of your parent’s bed that you recorded? Illegal.
A camera cannot capture the whole story.
A recording will show what happened, but not why.
Consider a couple of examples:
A Code Blue alarm sounds, staff rush in, and it looks like panic. In reality, housekeeping accidentally pressed the button during routine cleaning.
Your parent grimaces or makes an alarming sound. But to the clinical team, this is expected neurologically after a brain injury and does not always signal distress.
It can damage trust between you and the care team
The nurse caring for your parent is also human. Being secretly recorded creates tension and defensiveness, even if their care is excellent. It shifts the relationship from partnership to surveillance. And when trust is lost, communication breaks down. That is the last thing anyone wants during hospitalization.
Families and care teams work best together when there is clarity, openness, and mutual respect. This could jeopardize the care relationship at a time when you really need the support.
Underlying Reasons for Wanting to Remotely Monitor Your Elderly Parent
Let’s dig into why the idea of a granny cam is appealing.
Simply put, it’s fear.
When someone you care about is vulnerable, a lot is going on for you emotionally: anxiety, guilt, uncertainty, and a sense of responsibility.
You may be faced with medical terms you do not understand or decisions you feel ill-equipped to make. Maybe your parents’ healthcare wishes are at odds with your own preferences and values. Decisions are happening fast, and you are likely overwhelmed. And if you had a negative experience in the past, those feelings can be exacerbated.
In the face of that, your nervous system goes into protection mode. It’s completely normal to want reassurance and to know what is happening behind the scenes. I understand why you’d like to feel in control. You are not wrong for wanting that comfort.
Understanding these root causes can help us manage them. We can then find that reassurance without risking privacy issues or straining your relationship with your care team.
Better Alternatives to Monitoring Systems for Families
Here are some options that offer appropriate support.
1. Rotate physical presence if possible: Divide visits among siblings, relatives, or close friends. Even a few extra hours of in-person presence can ease a lot of your worries.
2. Request continuity of care when available: Ask if your unit can arrange for the same nurses to care for your parent. When a nurse knows your parent well, it is easier to keep a handle on things.
3. Hire a private sitter or support person: A trained caregiver can stay bedside, observe care, and explain complicated medical concepts. Even short-term support can help.
4. Prioritize clear, respectful communication with the healthcare team: Ask questions, and ask for clear explanations. Request family meetings. Most healthcare professionals are happy to help when they know what you need.
5. Encourage your loved one to create or review an Advance Care Plan (ACP): When you know that the treatment is in line with your parent’s desires, it brings peace of mind and reduces the need to monitor their every move. An ACP outlines your loved one’s preferences for care, making it easier for families to feel assured that their wishes are being respected.
Building Trust and Confidence in Care Decisions with ACE Planning Co.
Granny cams usually come from a place of love. Those feelings - worry, grief, and wanting to feel in control when everything feels out of your hands - are real and understandable.
But hidden cameras come with their own risks: damaged trust, tension with the care team, and a legally risky situation. A healthier approach is to communicate openly, ask questions, and work with the care team.
If monitoring is something you’re considering, bring it forward honestly. However, be prepared to accept the hospital’s policy if it’s not permitted.
There is something you can do to feel more secure. Advance Care Planning helps align your loved one’s care to their wishes and values, so you are not left guessing or watching for mistakes.
In my experience as a nurse and helping families with their Advanced Care Planning, having those conversations early makes a difference. You feel more confident, more informed, and less overwhelmed when your loved ones end up in the hospital.
If you’d like support starting that process or talking through options, I am here. Book a call, and I am more than happy to answer any questions you may have.
